Getting back into dating after being single for a long time brings you a slew of emotions. It might be scary or exciting depending on your last experience. Staying out of the game for long might make it difficult to decide how to proceed with bringing new people into your life. Especially, if things didn’t go well in the past, trusting someone new can be a roller coaster ride.
While it may not be easy to deal with paralysis of choice, a little guidance can get you back in the game. Here are some tips you can use if you’re planning on dating after a long time.
- How To Start Dating After a Long Time
- Wrap up
How To Start Dating After a Long Time
Get Comfortable! Take Things Slow
It indeed requires a great deal of courage to dive deep into the dating pool. Especially, when you’re planning to date someone after a long time. Just remember that you don’t need to drive it on your nerves. You will find a lot of suggestions from people to ‘start over,’ but it can be really confusing knowing when you’re actually ready to start your intimate journey after a long break.
Always start when you’re completely ready and comfortable with it. If you’re planning to see another person merely to fill the void of your previous breakup, you might end up bringing the old wreckage along with you. Enriching your life with a wonderful dating experience is in your hands, so always start when you really want to.
Don’t Let the Past Ruin Your Future
When you start getting back into dating after a long time, thoughts like ‘I tried to save my previous relationship but lost’ and ‘my ex was entirely responsible for sabotaging our relationship,’ come to haunt you and leave you wary of carrying the same energy with someone new.
No matter whether you had a bad experience or an amicable one, blasts from the past are inevitable. But you must know that thinking a lot about your ex can ruin your future relationship. Therefore, instead of getting stuck with ‘whose fault it was,’ you should learn how to move on without hurting your future.
It’s not as easy as said but accepting the fact that you can’t clap with one hand alone, might ease things up for you.
Be Honest and Authentic
It’s hard to find a true match if you’re not honest and authentic to yourself. Usually, when people start dating after being single for a long time, they try to be over-efficient and reveal their true colors after a while, which can make things even worse. It’s important to know your single self, and the lessons learned from your last relationship. This time, your needs might have changed so it’s better to re-assess what you’re able to offer.
Always get back into dating with a positive mindset. Relinquish your fears and trust your guts with how you feel around this new person. Only a positive mind can lead to positive behavior, which ultimately brings positive results.
Cling to Qualities You Already Know you Want
Now that you’ve stayed out of dating life for a long, it’s time to look back and assess what you actually did and did not want from your previous relationship. To find a perfect match, you must objectively evaluate the things you want in your partner.
It’s better to make a list of attributes your previous partner had, that you liked and despised. After that, make a list of characteristics that you want. This way, it will be easier for you to identify which type of person you’re actually looking for. More importantly, it will develop a sense of empowerment inside you and will guide you towards a wonderful connection with your partner.
Besides Dating, There are Other Things Too!
While planning to get back into dating after a long time, downloading a dating app or asking your friends to set you up with their single pals is not enough. You must focus on other things besides dating, too. Despite sticking with finding a replacement partner, there are other parts of your life too that require your attention.
Start with making new friends and developing new hobbies. This will save you from going into dating overdrive.
Let Go of Unrealistic Expectations
Although, there’s no harm in having a positive mindset when dating after a long time, setting unrealistic expectations can be harmful to your new relationship. You can not find the ‘love of your life straight away. In fact, such an approach might stop you from enjoying the moment.
Most people build up unrealistic expectations while deciding what they want in a partner. In reality, finding a perfect match always takes time. There’s no shame in staying single until you find someone that matches your expectations. Because it’s still better to stay lonely than rushing into a new relationship without knowing your expectations or forgetting your past experiences.
Look Out for Relationship Red Flags
Don’t forget to look out for red-flag behaviors when dating after a long time. Such behaviors determine whether a relationship will stay healthy in the long run. Always have an eye on how your new partner makes you feel. If you think they make you feel undervalued and insecure, don’t proceed any further.
For starters, determine whether your relationship is dependent. If you or your partner communicate or enjoy each other’s company better under the influence of alcohol, that’s a red flag. Secondly, if you find it difficult to make commitments, it’s a red flag. Some other red flags include controlling behavior, jealousy, and lack of nonverbal communication.
Learn to Handle Rejection
Rejection is the bitter side of every new or old relationship, but it hits more when you are dating after being single for a long time. It’s obvious that every relationship is not meant to be successful. Rejections can be hurtful, but they’re never fatal.
Try to handle rejection by staying positive and honest with yourself and the other person. The best trick to handle rejection is to accept it and not spend much time thinking about it. Just remember that you are never out of options.
Always keep in mind that the strongest connection you can have is with yourself. You’re merely sharing a part of your life with someone who interests you. No one is flawless; we are all imperfect in some way. However, it is our defects that define who we are. It’s the difficult times that shape our future and remind us of how thrilling life can be. How amazing love can be, and how it is our soul’s right to discover love.
Should I Start Dating Again After a Long Time?
The truth is, no one knows you better than your own self. If you feel there’s a relationship void that needs to be filled, you should start dating again without worry. You just have to make sure that you are completely ready for it. Don’t start dating if you only want the other person as a replacement because it might not work in the long run.
How Soon Should I Start Dating Again After a Break-up?
Although there’s no thumb rule about how soon you should start dating after staying single for a long time, you should wait at least three months before actually starting it. However, if you’ve just been out of a long-term relationship, you might need six months to one year. But, if you think you need even more time, that’s perfectly alright!
What Are the Signs that You Should Start Dating Again?
These are the signs that tell you whether you’re ready for dating again after staying single for a long time.
- You’re no longer confused or unclear about the things you want in your new relationship. It means you’ve successfully recovered from a bad breakup.
- You no longer have grudges for your ex-partner. You’ve let go of all the negative thoughts.
- You feel a sense of excitement when interacting with new people
- You’ve started to give priority to yourself and become more independent.
- You’re ready to communicate your feelings and have no unrealistic expectations like you had in your previous relationship.